Plus multiply plus equals plus (+X+=+)
Trying to cope with so many layers of life at a same time is draining and energising at the same time. Coming to terms with new facts of life and randomness of future .A higher rate of randomness than we were used to. The joy of watching the world through eyes of Jonah, learning and gaining new skills along with him, slow but steady, together we have learned to seize every minute of day to explore tiniest details of our surroundings. From cracks on the pavement, to snails and slugs and tiny creature roaming in the soil, to hear every voice and smell every smell.
On another deeper layer, I am still grieving for my mum. I pull all my strength to dare to listen to audio recordings from the time she had the final stroke. Her weak voice talking to the lovely physiotherapist who came to help her gain some strength on left side of her body. My mum says she has lost the grip on everything. She has no control over anything anymore .The physiotherapist tries to give her hope by encouraging her to think about positive side of life. Mum still had enough humour to chuckles in her weakest voice and say: “I know, positive multiply positive equals positive “.
I don’t know how many short films it takes to come to term with loss of someone so close. I dive deep in to my feelings with each little film.

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